FOBs aren’t people, at least not recent FOBs or FOBs over the age of 40 are not people.  There, I’ve said it.  Their mannerisms, their inability to pick up facial cues or understand particular social situations.  It’s as if every science fiction robot came to life.  You know the situation : man makes robot, robot is confused by man, robot wants to learn to love and emote…. robot accidentally kills man.  Ah yes, the FOB …. almost human.  However the typical sci-fi robot really is a reflection of society and the creator as a whole.  Who dominates socity in the USA ? White people.  Bacon flavored vodka, the Hills, Sham-Wows. . . the Jonas Brothers …all horrible creations from the minds of the white man.  So what does the FOB say about his master? Plenty… and it’s not pretty. I present to you…

White People or FOBs

white people love t-shirts with “clever” slogans v fobs love shirts with “English” slogans

FOBs love shirts with poorly written English phrases.  There is a whole site out there dedicated to the English stumblings of unshipped FOBs. Where do they get this from? White people and their love for “ironic” or “clever t-shirts “.  Have you ever been to bustedtees or Urban Outiftters ?   It’s bad enough to hear people quote the “latest” catch phrase but to put it on a shirt? I mean FOBs have the good sense to not repeat these quotes because a) they’re grammatical landmines that make little sense b) communism or robots are causes too important to be distracted by such trivialities. But what does this say about say about white people ?   A) They love Andy Samberg ( ever seen a “i’m on a boat” or ” mr. pibb + redvines = crazy delicious” shirt … yeah.. lame )   and B) they’re the last to know about anything when it comes to the internet. The speed at which things happen on the internet is too fast for any T-shirt company.  In the time it takes a company to print a shirt with Fatso the Piano playing the cat, ten new cats have risen to fame and fallen from grace.  Your shirt is already 10 cats behind, and to a cat that  like 70 cats behind…. you heard me.

White people and FOBs fear large groups of non white people

When white people see a large group of FOBs, what do they think ? An engineering graduate student get together… and you know why? Cause they’re right.  When FOBs see a large group of white people, what do they think? This is must be a filming for an episode of Friends or some misconceived MTV reality show. What do FOBs think when they see a large group of non white people? I better run to my car or I will be robbed/beaten/forced toplay a game of basketball/soccer. The global economy sucks except for one sector of American exports. You know what that is? Racism.  You know who their chief buyer is? FOBs.  Like all good American phenomenons, FOBs  have soaked up racism through television and movies that white people have created.  FOBs have already mastered the art of bad pop music and government partisanship ( i.e. Taiwan ) , it should be no surprise that irrational racism is taking so well.

White people want to be hairless vs. Asians are hairless

Body shaving is a foreign concept for FOBs. It’s not just because of a culture that doesn’t care for  personal grooming but a result of years of genetic breeding that has essentially phased out the body hair gene for most FOBs.  When you live in a country of 1.6 billion, the drag created by extra body hair makes it more difficult to manage your way through crowded bicycled filled streets.  However, go to any gym and find the white guy who is most into himself. He’s probably wearing a cutoff shirt, perhaps a baseball cap and definitely grunts too much while lifting.  Look at his legs, what do you see ? RAZOR BUMPS!  To better illustrate this, I’ve found a delightful illustration. Everyone says that their dogs look like their masters and what better to generalize a represent a country of people than to find dogs named after them. Take a look at the two dogs : which one is the Chinese Crested Dog and which is the Scottish Terrier ? Checkmate. I mean how brilliant was that ? You ever wonder how Liu Xiang won the Gold in Athens? Your answer is right there.