Things that have been swimming in my head :

1.  Recreational ice skating is one of the best spectator activities.  Everyone skates slowly and awkwardly around a ring in the same direction, never taking anything but left turns.  The parents are only there to watch children fall and crash into the side boards.  It is the NASCAR of outside activities.

2.  FOX has the worst college football theme.  It cheesy over the top gladiator music that fits too well with the Longhorn band’s cheesy over the top cowboy costumes.

3. After watching the BCS games on FOX, I no longer care about the new Dodge Ram with it’s “rambox” and ability to jump through burning/exploding barns in the middle of the dessert.  Nor do I care about the new F150 with it’s towing control or the crazy smart engineers that designed it.  However I do want to drive the new 370Z  through a hazy tunnel and I would like to eat my carry on luggage that consists of oil, salt and white corn.

4. When I die, I would like to be buried in a granite mausoleum that has all my accomplishments etched into it’s side ala Roland Burris. It will be one foot tall and have “had a badonkadonk ” on the side. Courier will be my choice of font.

5.  Why did Billy Corgan shave his  head?  Did he see the batboy and think, ” that’s a good look! ” ?

6.  I will no longer buy blue toilet bowl tablets.  The unnatural blue color of the water combined with the miscellaneous ____ that come out of my body make for an even more unnatural and sickly looking color.  I don’t like it very much.  Plus the tablets break up and clog the channels so I don’t get a satisfying flush.

7. Charlie Rose has the best interviews.  I mean what does a 67 year old white guy have in common with Danger Mouse, Conan O’Brien and Jack White? Plus , that all black background is serious business.  You don’t go onto Charlie Rose to mess around, it’s game time.