What is thug love ?!?! I mean, I understand the idea : a girl and a guy, both presumibly ” thug” , meet in a bar/party/club/airline bathroom and proceed to go back home/penthouse/the next bathroom stall and yadda yadda. What boggles the mind is that emcees think that these kind of lyrics are effective.  As an Asian American who grew up in white suburbia, I feel it necessary to present to you the definitive collection of thug love rhymes. Also, because this is a family friendly blog , and by that I mean no one reads this but one day I might have to put this on my CV as a background check, I’ve creatively editted the lyrics.

1 ) Lil Wayne – “Grown Man”

“Now I don’t really hit the club but tonight I’ll make an exception
For some reason I can’t seem to keep my eyes out your direction
I’m lookin’ at you so hard, I could probably catch a charge
Feelin’ the way you walk when you move yo booty applaud”

Yeah, that’s nasty. She sounds like she has gas problems.

2. Kayne West -  ” The New Work Out Plan”

” Maybe one day girl we can ‘engage in sexual realtions’
So you can brag to all your homies now
But I still mess with a big girl if you ain’t fit girl I’ll hit girl “

This man has no standards, so if he hits on you, probably means you meet his only standard : being alive.

3) Talib Kweli- ” Won’t you Stay”

“Ladies you ever felt growing away
By your man
Asking “Baby, won’t you stay?”
He chilling with his crew
He should be building with you

<later in the song>

Gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go”

Wait… what?!?!

4) David Banner – ” Play”

” …”

5) Jordan Knight – ” Give it to you”

“It’s creepin around in your head
me holding you down in my bed
You don’t have to say a word
I’m convinced you want this”

Ok ok, so yes, he’s hardly an Emcee and even worse he’s not even thug, however, nothing says ” we get it” like white guys copying black guys.  As hard as Mr. Jordan ( circled in blue ) tries, he fails miserably and comes off sounding like court testimony.  What’s creepin around in your head? That’s the GHB. Me holding down in your bed? yeah… getting creepier.  ” You don’t have to say a word ” creepy level increasing? ” I’m convinced you want this” , CREEPY WARP FACTOR 10! You’ve gone from thug love to a disgusting criminal offense accompanied by plenty of jail time in which you too, can experience the pleasures of having someone convincing themselves that ” you want this”.